My kid doesn't do anything illegal or such. Has a habit of leaving in the morning and returning about 11 pm, EVERY DAY.
No job. Basically just coming home to sleep, shower, and wash clothes.
As a parent I have a soft spot for him/her because he/she is my kid. Am I wrong to let this keep going?
Posted 1/5/2012 6:55 am
If he is not costing you money, let him stay. And f-ck all you hard asses. We are in the worst recession since the 70's only with less jobs. Let's see you hard asses like living with nothing.
Posted 1/5/2012 6:59 am
Ask him what he plans to do. Tell him he needs to start doing something - school, work, or the service. I don't advocate throwing him out either, but there's no need to subsidize his f-cking off. Since you provide his room and board, and he isn't doing anything, no reason to give him spending money.
But do pressure him to work anywhere. Learn a trade. Let him horde his money. What would be the worse that can happen? He might get lucky and find something good and save up enough to buy a house with cash.
Posted 1/5/2012 7:06 am
You're not doing him any favors. Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing. The right thing is to get him on track toward being a responsible, productive adult.
Even if it isnt a full amount you should be charging him rent and making him pay for food. Even if he cant find a full time job he needs to be doing SOMETHING.
This. Sit him down, and point out that even a part time job will let him save a ton of cash up for when the economy gets better. It's just the waste of time that's an issue, at least take some classes at junior college, or some throw away retail job. Tell him it's not just to nag him, but it's a benefit to him, eventually. Hell, there are cool jobs that are part time that most people would like to do, but can't because they can't live on them, like security at stadiums and arenas.
If he's not causing problems, and helps you out if you need it, then I don't see the problem.
Ok f-ck it, Im throwing you out because Im too lazy to actually help you figure your sh-t out. I just don't want to be an enabler of a future 40 yr old basement boy.
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Posted 1/5/2012 7:30 am
If you're planning on leaving him the house, sit down with him and go over the expenses and maintenance of owning a house. Explain that he's going to have to come up with at least that every month, but the total is likely to double as the house gets older. Talk about a three year plan to get something going for himself. It might take a year or two of school or an apprenticeship, or something like that.
I would charge rent, but keep it minimal, and give him a couple months before he has to start paying. $50/mo this year, $100/mo next year, $200/mo the year after that, and then level it off at like $300 or so. No free board, he pitches in on the food bill, utilities, cable internet, TV, gas for the car, insurance, everything.
Tell him you'll keep half the money in an account for him. He gets the lump sum when:
1. He's 30 and his ass is out of your house
2. He saves up enough for a down payment on his own place (not a first and last and two months' rent, a down payment on his own place).
3. He graduates with a four year degree and a business plan to succeed in the New Economy
4. He apprentices with an electrician or a plumber or a furniture refinisher, or some other decent trade for two years
5. Whatever else you come up with.
I would give him ten hours of work around the house, phased in over years 2 and 3... unless that would dig into something else he's got going on that looks workable.
If you really like having him around and he's not a hassle to you or your wife, give him the option of building a significant addition onto your home and let him stay. If he builds another floor on the house or adds a two story 1000sf apartment in the back... hey, sounds like a good deal to me.
Posted 1/5/2012 12:25 pm
Call me a hard ass and save the sh-t about Europeans still living at home at age 30+. I wouldnt kick him out, as that is harsh, but things must change. There are jobs, sure not making +100,000 a year, but one must start somewhere. Get a job, any job to learn a work ethic and responibility. One class at the local CC wont cut the mustard...FULL TIME.
Maybe as other generation did, as I did, join the Army. Although today I would recommend the Air Force. Remember, 21 turns to 26 then 30+ real quick. Sometimes doing the right thing is hard.
